But I didn’t cry

When the tears threatened to burn a hole through my eyes, I didn’t cry. Or maybe my body has just been through this feeling so many times, it doesn’t even know how to correctly identify the pain that’s been dealt.

Today without a doubt was painful. It’s like looking your killer in the eye with unwavering eyes knowing on the inside you’re terrified. It’s like being consciously aware that you are drowning, but being unable to do anything about it because you can’t swim. It sucked witnessing the truth only to be force to act strong. It sucked acting like one of those porcelain empty dolls, but I wasn’t going to be the one to break. It seems to me that you were on an ego trip and you didn’t deserve to see me shed tears for your own egotistic satisfaction.

The best thing about making mistakes is that you have the opportunity to learn from them. Sometimes you need harsh cold reality to wake you up from the dream you’ve been so peacefully living out. But when you wake up, there’s no going back to the way it was before.

You won’t be my second mistake.

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